The Night Before Driftmas
by David Harvey – copywriter
Twas the night before Driftmas, when all through the house
Not a laptop was whirring, not even a mouse.
The fish swam around in the hearth with great care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas wouldn’t come from up there.
The designers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of logo books danced in their heads.
The SEO team, with the weekend a wrap,
Had just settled down for their twice monthly nap.
When abruptly I woke to my phone on the table,
I had gotten a text from my boss, David Maples:
“Come to the office, we need you tonight.
Santa is here, and he needs a website.”
Half asleep, I had only a snarky reply:
“You think I’d get out of my bed for one guy?
It’s a weekend, a holiday, this isn’t ideal.
Besides, everyone knows that Santa’s not real.”
But I have to admit, I found it quite curious
That my boss would just call and risk making me furious.
So I rolled out of bed, feeling not very swift.
Then I put on my coat, and I headed to Drift.
When I got to the office all the lights were ablaze,
In the parking lot rested the largest of sleighs.
Inside the designers were sketching down sketches
And drawing up drawings and etching out etches.
And that’s when I noticed the black rubber boots,
The thick cotton pants and the reddest of suits.
The sight was amazing, sublime, statuesque:
There he was, Santa Claus, sitting down at my desk.
“Copywriter, I know you’re a skeptic, a critic,
A cynic, a doubter, a cold analytic.
But now children too have refused to believe
In the person in charge of the gifts they receive.
I’ve gotten no letters, no calls, no requests.
I don’t know what to do, and I’m stricken with stress.
I’ve got toys in my bag but no names on my list.
I need you to convince them that Santa exists.”
So I gathered the interns, the SEO team,
The designers and sales staff to hatch up a scheme.
Cross words were shouted, ideas were discarded,
Until lastly the whiteboard was wholly bombarded
With ladles of logos and oodles of doodles,
And numbers and arrows and one or two poodles.
We racked out our brains, we searched low and high
‘Til we smiled at each other and let out a sigh.
Success! We had finally forged out a plan,
One that turned every “cannot” into “can.”
Santa looked at us all, and with no introduction
He whistled and shouted and called out instruction.
“Deliver my message for all to discuss,
On Facebook! On Twitter! And on Google Plus!
A sleek mobile website, an AdWords campaign,
And the copy must get them believing again.”
So we cleared off our desks and gathered ourselves,
We worked even harder than Santa’s own elves.
Designers designed, developers coded
And I typed ‘til my fingers had all but exploded.
Though I have to admit, I still had my doubts
About figuring this Christmas calamity out.
There were too many houses and chimneys to climb,
There’s no way it would work, there’s simply no time.
Then finally, after the site was complete,
And St. Nick’s Facebook page looked delightful and neat,
We all gathered ‘round the computer display
To watch Santa’s inbox and desperately pray.
We waited and waited for what must have been hours,
Hoping and wishing with all of our powers
That maybe, just maybe, we weren’t too late.
And when that first email came, it had surely been fate.
One request became twenty, a thousand, a million!
Two billion emails from all two billion children!
They’d all written to Santa Claus dozens of times,
But they’d tried to submit all their letters…online.
“I thought Christmas was finished, an error indeed.
Who knew a great website was all I would need!”
Then he looked at us all, his gaze warm and strong.
“The real Christmas spirit was in you all along.”
He sprang to his sleigh, and the engine ignited.
No need for his reindeer – this sleigh was a hybrid.
But I heard him exclaim, ’ere he drove out of sight,
“Merry Driftmas to all, and to all a good website!”